aviv_b_artwork | Why I won't be doing a 'Gimme, Gimme Meme!'

This is rant. A heartfelt, head-spinning rant. I've just received my third "Holiday Gift Meme" in as many days and I DO NOT WANT!

I normally avoid stores from Thanksgiving through the end of the year. Not only do I hate crowds, but the whole gimme grab leaves me saddened and exhausted. If I told you I didn't exchange gifts with friends, I'd be lying. But more and more, I've been moving toward gifts to charities, personal assistance to others in lieu of material gifts.

And while I don't begrudge any else's buying of gifts, its the not so subtle asking that seems to becoming a bit more ballsy the last few years.

My least favorite version of this phenomenon is the LJ/Facebook/Blog Christmas exchange list/Holiday gift meme.

The 'if you just happen to have a deluxe full feature camera, or an iPad, or gee, maybe a cashmere coat that you weren't planning on doing anything with - maybe you could send it my way?'

For the record - if I have something I don't need, I give it to charity. Coat I'm not wearing goes to charity. Sweater that doesn't fit - ditto. Blu ray player - how many people have spare blu ray players sitting around their house? And if you do, I'll bet a nursing home or children's hospital would be thrilled to have it.

Don't you feel any embarrassment at your obviously grubby begging meme, in many cases asking virtual strangers to give you stuff? Not food or clothes or shelter, but luxuries that no one has to have?

This isn't anything like a person trying to raise money to pay medical bills or offset funeral expenses or help with college tuition when their scholarship discontinued or vet bills for a sick pet.

This is asking your on-line pals to be Santa.You want something for free...use freecycle. But honestly, I don't want to be accosted with lists for wonderful sparkly items you'd like to have cause, well, because dammit everyone else has one.

In a year when the stated US unemployment rate is 10%, but the real unemployment rate is closer to 20%, people are losing jobs and homes faster than the blink of an eye, maybe, just maybe, this is the year where you say..."I have all that I need, I have more than I need. I am not so self-involved that I think my need for an iphone deserves more attention than someone who doesn't have a winter coat."

And please don't tell me how filled with the Christmas spirit you are, or how Jewish you feel (whatever the hell that means) and then put up a list of what you want as gifts. Because really, who are you kidding?

Now in the interest of full disclosure, if anyone has the following hanging around in exra supply, please feel free to forward them to my attention. I'll make sure those who have real needs get these:

Affordable health care for everyone
A government that works for the people not the big corporations
Food for everyone, so that no one goes to bed hungry
Ending discrimination against others because of their race, or religion, or country of origin, or sexual orientation, or gender or disability, or political beliefs or personal private behavior.
A decent job with decent pay and benefits for anyone who is willing to work.

That's my small list for the holidays. Funny thing, it hasn't needed changes for many, many years. And I suspect it won't be changing this year either.

So bah humbug to the gift list memes.

I wonder how long it will take to get the first 'you're a stinkin' socialist' comment.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well said.

Thank you. I really feel like scrooge - but its what's on the list that's so galling - not a warm coat cause I can't afford a new one, or boots for my kids, but seriously, leather coats, blu ray player, iphone, ipad, a facial.

Now if it was sent to a subset of friends who perhaps do exchange gifts and they do this for convience, fine. But to your whole friggin 'friends' and 'friends of friends' list? To several dozens, or hundreds of people who barely know you?

No, just no.

I haven't seen those memes, but I usually skip the notifications that have 'meme' in the tags list. Wow. I don't even like to request a card to be sent to me when my overseas flist are offering because of the postage costs.

Are people really asking for iPads or blu ray players?

Oh yeah! Like I said if its a subset of friends who are your real life friends, fine by me, but there's something so crass about this whole thing that it really puts me on edge.

That seems a terribly crass thing to do, asking straight out to be given stuff.

Yep - and not stuff that people 'need.' If someone really needed something, hell I'd go out and buy it myself for them. But electronic gadgets? I can only hope that maybe some of these folks meant it for a limited list but didn't realize that everyone would get it.

Wow, people really ask for that type of stuff? The lists I've seen on my f-list were more along the lines of "ficlet or icon featuring my favourite pairing" and "warm hat that looks nice on me - never mind, got one from grandma today". I found those completely acceptable, but once people get greedy, the season of warm fuzzies is over. :S

Your lists sounds great, it's just not something one person can bundle up neatly and send through the postal sevice. Needs a lot of work from a lot of people and a lot of change in many heads.

Fic and icons are wonderful gifts. So is being someone's beta. Or helping them with something (writing a resume, practicing for an interview). All good stuff. But my holiday spirit has already taken the first flight to Boeshane this year, and I doubt its coming back.

So no requests for dashing captains, Stinky? ;]p

Hey who ya calling Stinky?

Hear, hear.

Can I add: A safe, nurturing home for every child, to your list?

Absolutely! And Peace on earth! Let's go for that one too.

I get saddened by Christmas every year for similar reasons. People feel under so much pressure to buy people gifts and that's not what Christmas should be about. I haven't bought presesnts for the majority of peple in my life for years. My parents and a partner if I have one are the exceptoin. In the last couple of years I have bought gifts for some of my friends kids too. No one else is bought a present, however I gift them with something to show them that I care about them and theat they are special to me.

I have in the past invited all my friends over and cooked them all a meal as my gift, I make bags of sweets, or biscuits etc. My Christmas meme on LJ has been to offer fic. It's not much but if someone gets pleasure from stuff that I write then they get something personal and special for them. In my mind that's more of what the Christmas spirit should be.

Thus endeth my rant and well done for posting yours.

I'm with you - doing womething for someone is so much more meaningful. And cooking is a real gift of love. And the fic idea is great - because again writing fan fic is a labor of love.

Really! Has the Charlie Brown special taught us nothing? Well, between the Dolly Madison and Coke ads. :p

Hahahaha! Yeah, its like that old joke,... we already know what you are, now we're just haggling about the price. Even Charlie Brown, sigh.

Another reason I don't do Facebook. If I could, I would happily give you everything on your list, but they're on mine as well. Very good post.

Two of them were from LJ - and let's face it, I may know your stories, but I don't know you and you don't know me. So why on earth would I send you a 'meme' about what I want for Christmas. I think we're all just a little too old to be writing to Santa aren't we?

As for the other gifts, yeah, not so easy.

lol. just kidding really. honestly, i have never seen one of these meme things that you are talking about.

agreed with you, for the record. sometimes, with all the bs that happens to me... its hard to remember that i have a roof and friends and a job. and that it could be so much worse for me. *sighs*
well said, my friend.

And a good kid, even if you are a nerd mom. (Personally, I think nerd mom's rule).

Why I won't be doing a 'Gimme, Gimme Meme!'

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Care package.

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"you're a stinking socialist"

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