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aviv_b_artworkTITLE: Chapter 85(b)- An Ending (but not THE End)
AUTHOR: Aviv_b
RATING: Chapter 85(b)- G/PG
CHARACTERS:: Ianto, Jack, Mickey, Stephen
DISCLAIMER: Not mine; Aunty B's and RTD's
WORDS: ~ 1305
SUMMARY: Jack is back. But what happened to him? And how is Ianto going to handle his return?
Title is from: What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from. T.S. Eliot.
Ianto's Journey begins here: http://aviv-b.livejournal.com/1972.html
All Chapter are linked.
Ianto and Jack met with Mickey the following day and spent a good part of it reviewing the tapes of the inquiry and planning strategy.
In the end, they concluded that it would come down to whether the Security Council as a whole believed Jack or not. And that unfortunately, even if he were exonerated by the Security Council this would not prevent the International Criminal Court from conducting their own investigation.
“Well, I’ve got an ace or two up my sleeve, but I won’t use it unless I have to. Realistically the Court won’t act unless some nation continues to protest. And I pretty sure I can prevent that from happening.”
Mickey laughed. “You’ve got the dirt on every one of those ambassadors, don’t you.”
“You got it in one. As well as the leaders of most nations, their legislatures and their military brass. There are some advantages of being above the law and beyond the UN.”
Mickey was curious about what had happened while Jack was with the Doctor and Jack truthfully told him the whole story with the exception of how long he had been away.
Mickey’s reaction made Ianto smile. “Five years, you actually lived five years while we lived seven weeks?” Jack nodded. “If I hadn’t traveled with the Doctor and seen that timey-wimey stuff for myself, I wouldn’t believe it.”
‘Well, you may have to testify to that Mickey, if Jack is to be believed.’
Mickey didn’t have a problem with that. Pretty much everybody at UNIT and Torchwood knew that he had traveled with the Doctor and probably a lot of people at the UN had heard as well. He could attest that time on the Tardis passed differently than time on Earth.
But what to say about the Doctor and the Master. This proved to be more contentious. Mickey felt that Jack should disclose that the Master was a Timelord to impress on everyone how dangerous he was. Jack was strongly opposed to this fearing that it might rebound negatively on the Doctor. He also had no intention of letting anyone other than Mickey and Ianto know that the Doctor had strongly opposed him killing the Master. And only Ianto knew that the Doctor had tried to stop Jack by zapping him with the sonic screwdriver or that the Master might somehow be regenerated by the Doctor.
By the time they had agreed on their strategy it was getting close to 17:00 hours. Mickey apologized to Ianto and said he needed to speak to Jack about some items that were ‘eyes-only.’ Ianto was pretty sure that he wanted to speak to Jack about Aaron amongst other things and agreed to leave. He had already given Jack a spare key to the house so he told Jack that he wasn’t going to wait up.
Ianto was correct that Aaron was one of the things Mickey wanted to speak to Jack about. He would have been surprised however, that the main item on Mickey’s agenda was Ianto himself.
“I’m really worried about Ianto. He’s been working flat out for over two months. The only time he’s taken off since the invasion was one day to attend his brother-in-law’s funeral and three maybe four days for Aaron’s. And he was still answering emails during all that time. He hasn’t had time to grieve for Aaron, he hasn’t had time to think about the future. If I were taking odds I’d bet there’s a better than even chance that he’s going to have a nervous breakdown or some other health crisis within a few weeks if he keeps this up.”
“I’ll tell you what,” Jack answered, “let’s finish off these hearings and then I’ll have a long talk with Ianto. In fact, maybe we could take a quick trip to Cardiff and see his sister and everyone else.”
Mickey wasn’t sure Cardiff was such a great idea, given Owen and Tosh’s feelings, but he would discretely check in with Gwen and see if they were back from Osaka.
**
The last day before the hearings resumed, Jack and Ianto went to the cemetery to visit Aaron’s grave. Stephen arrived not long after Jack and Ianto; Ianto had called Stephen to see if he wanted to meet them there and he said he would try. The three men stood in companionable silence until Stephen broke the silence by pulling Jack away to visit the Brigadier’s grave. Jack and Stephen reminisced about the Brigadier as they watched Ianto standing alone looking lost and forlorn. Finally, Ianto came over and joined the men at the Brigadier’s grave. Jack offered to take both men to lunch, but Stephen had a business appointment and Ianto said he wanted to go home and rest.
Back at the house, Ianto made coffee for Jack and tea for himself. As they sat in the lounge once again, Ianto told Jack everything that had happened when he and Aaron had gone to Buckingham Palace.
Ianto tried to be a bit light-hearted but failed miserably. ‘I told the King that if we got out alive I would make sure that some decent books were added to the safe rooms. We almost came to blows at one point we were so crazed from being locked in with nothing to do for a week. I couldn’t wait to tell you and Aaron about…oh fuck…’ Ianto said as got up and went to stare out the window again.
Jack went and stood behind Ianto without hesitation. “Listen; don’t be embarrassed, it’s OK.”
Ianto turned around and faced Jack his eyes red from unshed tears. ‘What’s OK, to forget that my partner of almost thirty years is dead, to want to call the Doctor so we can go back in time and change it, to hoping that I’ll wake up and it will all be just a bad nightmare, to feel like every day I have to live now is a punishment for some long forgotten sin?’ Ianto lowered his gaze as the tears began to fall. ‘Tell me Jack what’s OK about that?’
Jack took Ianto into his arms. “Shhh…don’t beat yourself up, you’re grieving for Aaron, you’re allowed to feel what you feel.”
‘How do I get through this, how can I go on when every day is like torture. All I can think about is how I never should have let Aaron come with me, how I shouldn’t have let him stay behind in the Palace, how I should have walked away from Torchwood before it destroyed me. And now it’s too late. My life is done, now I’m just a living dead man waiting for my body to realize what my soul already knows.’
Jack couldn’t think of anything to say. He knew exactly what Ianto was feeling. Every time he came back from death and whenever he looked at his existence stretching out to eternity, he felt the same way, like a dead man walking. The only difference was that his journey was without end. At least Ianto would have the peace that death would eventually bring.
He continued to hold Ianto, gently patting him on the back until his crying subsided. He moved Ianto over to the sofa and had him lie down on it. He sat down on the floor next to Ianto’s head and kissed his forehead. “We have just one or two days more to get through with the hearings and then maybe we’ll go somewhere where we can both recuperate for a while, OK? We’ll pick up the pieces and see if we can’t make something new of them.”
Ianto nodded but he still felt adrift. ‘I feel lost Jack, it’s the end of my life as it has been and I don’t even know where to begin.’
“All I know is that the end is where we start from. And we’ll tackle this together you and me and find a new road to follow.”
Chapter 86 is here: http://aviv-b.livejournal.com/51269.html
