![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aviv_b_artworkTITLE: Chapter 97 - Promises
AUTHOR: Aviv_b
RATING: Chapter 97- G/PG
CHARACTERS: Ianto, Jack
DISCLAIMER: Not mine; Aunty B's and RTD's
WORDS: 3180
SUMMARY: Journey's End
Title is from: Promise me you’ll never forget me because if I thought you would I’d never leave.
A.A. Milne from Winnie the Pooh
Ianto's Journey begins here: http://aviv-b.livejournal.com/1972.html
All Chapter are linked.
This is it - only the Epilogue left now.
At the beginning of the new year, Ricky was able to find Owen a place at an excellent assisted living facility. But despite frequent visits by everyone, Owen never really recovered emotionally from Tosh’s death.
Ianto and Jack noticed that he became less responsive with each passing month.
“Did you notice that Owen hardly put three words together into a sentence?” Jack asked Ianto after a Saturday afternoon visit.
‘And any words he put together were just to answer our questions. He didn’t initiate a single sentence of conversation. Its like he’s given up.’
The next time they visited, Ianto brought some pictures from better times to share with Owen but he told them he didn’t want to look at them and asked Ianto and Jack to leave.
After several more visits with a non-communicative Owen, Ianto and Jack arranged to meet with Ricky at a local coffee shop to find out what was going on. Ricky’s report was not encouraging.
“Its mental more than physical,’ he said as he sat with his hands holding an untouched cup of coffee. “He just doesn’t want to live anymore. Says his girls are gone and he can’t seem the point.”
Ricky looked so hurt that Ianto felt sick at heart.
‘That’s just his way of speaking. He doesn’t say it to hurt your feelings.’
“Then why does he only want to see Kory. He practically ignores me, and even worse he ignores Bronwen and Gwen. It makes me angry sometimes and then we end up shouting at each other, and then I feel guilty for days afterwards.”
Jack had an idea of what might be going on. “Kory is his future. So he’s making sure he imparts all his thoughts to her. He’s coming to terms with his mortality and he wants to know that he’s not left anything unfinished.”
Ricky nodded in understanding. “Yeah, makes sense, I guess. But he’s really hurt my wife’s and Gwen’s feelings.”
Owen lingered on for almost another year. By the end he was a shrunken specter of his former self. He died just a few weeks before what would have been his 84th birthday. Their small circle of friends was getting even smaller at an alarming pace. It was just Gwen, Andy, Ianto and Jack now.
There was also something to celebrate that year. Rose, who was almost thirty got married to Kai Hughes, another junior professor at Cardiff University. Ianto’s eyes glistened as he watching Rose walk down the aisle on David’s arm. He wished Rhi was still alive, and Johnny too for that matter. They would have so loved to see their only grandchild get married. Still he was glad he was able to see his lovely great-niece at her wedding. He was surprised when Jack wiped a few of his own tears away. “There’s your future Ianto. You can bet her children are going to know all about Uncle Ianto.”
At Ianto’s insistence, they had left his wheelchair at home that day. While this made Jack very nervous, he understood that Ianto didn’t want to have to deal with the inevitable questions that would be raised if he used it. But the truth was that Ianto was finding it increasingly difficult to walk at all on his own anymore. They had visited numerous doctors and finally got a diagnosis. Ianto had Parkinson’s Disease. New medications worked well in preventing the dementia often associated with the disease’s progression, but science had yet to identify the underlying cause or an effective treatment to stop the physical deterioration.
Even though Ianto had expressly forbidden him to do so, Jack had let David know what was happening. Jack realized that time was truly running out and it wasn’t fair to David or Claire or Rose to be left in the dark. So when Christmas 2060 came Jack had made arrangements for the whole family to be together for the first time in many years. Even Mica came from Edinburgh with a girlfriend in tow. It took a moment for Ianto and Jack to understand that Paula was Mica’s new partner, not just a friend.
‘Sorry Mica. Your old Uncle Ianto is just a bit clueless I’m afraid.’
Mica rolled her eyes in classic Jones fashion. “If there’s anyone who shouldn’t be clueless it’s you and Uncle Jack,” she said laughing.
“Well, its different with women isn’t…” Jack stopped himself when he saw the looks of disbelief on both Mica and Paula’s faces. “I mean the term, girlfriend, can mean friend, or…uh…more than a friend.”
Mica and Paula just shook their heads at Jack’s embarrassment. Jack mimed zipping his mouth closed. “Ok, this is your Uncle Jack, shutting up now before he gets himself in trouble.”
Despite an awkward start, it really was a wonderful Christmas. Paula was very smart and funny and Ianto could see that Mica was happier than he had seen her for many years. And Rose and Hughes could hardly keep their hands off each other.
“Oi!” David admonished them. “Could you try to control yourself at least until your alone. You’re giving your mother ideas.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Claire said.
“No not bad at all, I just wouldn’t have drunk quite so much if I had known…” Everyone laughed. “In the famous words of Captain Jack…this is your father, shutting up before he gets to sleep on the couch.”
The evening ended all too quickly. David helped Jack maneuver Ianto from his wheelchair into their car. “Take care, Uncle Ianto,” David said kissing him on the cheek, “and don’t be giving Uncle Jack too much grief.” As Jack and Ianto drove off, David sighed. He was pretty sure this was the last Christmas they would all be together.
***
Bit by bit Ianto continued to lose ground. Jack would think that Ianto was holding steady for a while and then something would happen to let him know that this just wasn’t so. Ianto had been lucky that he had largely escaped the tremors that affected many Parkinson’s patients. But in March of 2061, symptoms suddenly appeared and progressed rapidly. By May Ianto couldn’t tie his shoes. By June he couldn’t cut his own food. Jack had to help Ianto with every task that made up daily life.
Jack bathed, and fed and dressed Ianto and yes, he even changed Ianto when he had an accident. Not surprisingly, Ianto was mortified by his loss of independence and found this downhill spiral almost impossible to cope with. But when Ianto would get upset, mostly with himself, Jack would gently shush him. ”Its OK Ianto, I don’t mind taking care of you.” Ianto could only push out his thoughts out or slowly and laboriously type on an oversized computer keyboard to communicate with Jack; his tremors had increased to where he couldn’t handle typing on his phone anymore.
Of all the indignities that Ianto had to put up with, he found being fed the worst. ‘Damn it Jack,’ I don’t want to live this way. I don’t want you to remember me this way,’ he said silently as Jack cut up his salmon.
“Shhh, I will remember everything of all our time together Ianto, not just this.”
‘I’m just a blip in time for you Jack, in ten years or a hundred years or maybe a thousand years, you won’t remember me.’
“You will never be just a blip in time, Ianto Jones. When I say I will remember you for all eternity, I mean it. Now hold still and let me wipe your face.”
Jack was fearful that Ianto wouldn’t make it to his 78th birthday in August. So he arranged for Mica and Paula to make a ‘surprise’ visit to Cardiff in early July. And Mica and Paula did have a surprise. They had gotten married in Edinburgh a few weeks earlier, and David and Claire arranged for a little wedding party with just immediate family. And yes, it was a ‘real’ wedding, the United Kingdom having approved full marriage rights and benefits for gay couples the year before.
And Claire insisted that since the whole family would be together and the party would be held at Jack and Ianto’s house due to Ianto’s lack of mobility, they should celebrate Ianto’s birthday at the same time.
There was one more surprise in store for Ianto and the rest of the family.
After all the cake had been eaten and presents for the newlyweds had been opened (Ianto insisted on no presents for himself) Rose called for everyone’s attention as she had an announcement she wanted to make.
Her voice quivered a bit as she told everyone that she and Kai were expecting a baby just after the start of the next year. Claire and David went a bit bonkers at the news. They were finally going to get the grandchild they had almost given up hope for.
“And there’s one thing I’d like to ask of Uncle Ianto.” Ianto was barely able to make eye contact with Rose. He already knew what the question was going to be and why she was going to ask it. He looked up and smiled at her to hide his regret that he was never going to see the birth of this child.
“We already know that we’re going to have a boy. Hugh and I would like to name the baby for you Uncle Ianto and your father if that would be alright.”
“Ianto Selwyn Hughes has a nice sound to it, don’t you think,” Kai added.
Ianto used every ounce of willpower to keep from losing it front of his family. ‘I’m so surprised I’m speechless, :>) .’ Ianto slowly typed on his keyboard. Everyone laughed except Jack who excused himself so he could into the kitchen and cry in private. David got up from the sofa he was sitting on in the lounge to go get him, but Ianto shook his head ‘no.’
‘Really, that’s so beautiful Rose, I’d be honored to have your son named for me and my father. And thank you Kai, that was very generous of you to let Rose give both names for her side of the family.’ Kai smiled. He adored Rose and if this made her happy, he was delighted to go along with it.
Jack came back into the lounge and congratulated Rose and Kai. “It’s been a long time since we had to buy any baby gifts. I think the last one was for Kory and she’s almost out of high school.’
‘Jack, don’t be daft, the last gifts were for Bethen and Tegwen, Gwen’s twin granddaughters.’
“You’re right,” Jack said smiling. “I’d forgotten about them. They must be almost teenagers. Gods help us”
Everyone remarked how quickly the years passed. Ianto agreed thinking, ‘way too fast, mine are just about over.’
Jack realized that he both agreed and disagreed. ‘I’d do anything to slow down time right now, but once Ianto’s gone, I wish there was some way to accelerate time to the end in something less than eternity.’
It turned out that having the party early was a fortuitous decision. Two weeks later, Ianto caught a summer cold, which rapidly turned into pneumococcal pneumonia. Ianto was hospitalized for a few days and then discharged when he began to get better. Unfortunately, the infection returned a second time and proved to be resistant to every antibiotic available. He was having bouts of uncontrolled coughing and the fluid in his lungs was making it painful to breathe.
The third day of his second hospital stay, Ianto looked at Jack dozing at his bedside. He looked so sad and tired and Ianto knew he looked and felt the same way. He reached out for Jack’s hand and Jack stirred, immediately becoming attentive to Ianto.
‘Jack,’ Ianto pushed out, ’I want to go home.’ Jack began to protest, but Ianto continued, ‘please Jack, I don’t want to die in this hospital. Take me home.’
Against doctor’s advice, Jack signed Ianto out and they went home. Completely bedridden, Ianto insisted that he didn’t want to see his family during his last few days.
‘We had such a nice party a few weeks ago, let them have that as their last memories of me. I can’t even type now…or say goodbye, what’s the point.’
There was one person Ianto did want to see. And that was Gwen. Jack brought her back to the house one evening. And to Ianto’s surprise, he also brought Ricky and Bronwen and Andy. “I’m sorry,” Jack apologized afterwards. “You know how Gwen is, she insisted that Ricky and Bronwen come with her, and then Andy showed up, and…I screwed up, didn’t I.”
Ianto pushed out, but it was getting harder for him to do so. ‘No you didn’t. It was nice…really… better than I thought...more good news.’
“Yeah, wasn’t that a corker. Ricky and Bronwen expecting a baby. She’s what, forty-five? And a boy to be named for Owen.” Jack looked at Ianto and saw that he had fallen asleep.
Jack sighed. Ianto was so thin and frail now that his pajama bottoms would have fallen off him if they hadn’t had a draw string waist. Jack stroked Ianto’s face, then kissed his forehead, cheek and lips. He got undressed and spooned around Ianto holding him close. He could feel Ianto’s hip bones protruding as well as the outline of his ribcage. Ianto had never been very heavy, but now he literally was skin and bones. A small part of Jack was furious with himself for letting Ianto leave the hospital but the larger part knew it was time to let Ianto go. He held Ianto tighter and finally fell into a light sleep.
Several hours later, Jack was woken by Ianto coughing. He turned on the bedside lamp and helped Ianto to sit up. Ianto continued to cough until his throat was spasming. He tried to draw a few deep breathes but that started the coughing all over again. Jack could sense the pain Ianto was in. Ianto’s lungs were filling up and he was slowly drowning his own fluids.
Ianto looked at Jack and nodded. They had talked about this a few days ago and now all that was left was to act. Jack went into the bathroom and came back with a bottle of narcotic cough medicine. “Are you sure, Ianto?”
‘Yes…sure,’ Ianto pushed out.
“You know I love you…” Jack began but Ianto raised his eyebrows and nodded toward the door. Jack unscrewed the top of the bottle and Ianto took the almost full bottle with trembling hands. Jack leaned over and kissed Ianto on the forehead. “I’ll just go make a cuppa for me. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Jack waited the agreed upon ten minutes before returning to the bedroom. Ianto was smiling sleepily at him. The bottle was almost empty. Jack climbed back into bed beside Ianto and moved so that Ianto was leaning against Jack. Jack held one of Ianto’s hands and rubbed circles over Ianto’s heart. “Oh Ianto, what am I going to do without you. You’ve been with me, in my heart, for almost fifty years. Even when you were with Aaron, I never stopped loving you. Not for one minute. And I know you don’t believe me, but I will never stop loving you and I will never forget you.”
Jack could see that Ianto’s eyes had fallen closed and he continued to breathe a little raggedly. Jack closed his eyes, and to his surprise he could still feel a small empathic connection with Ianto. He watched as a vision of Ianto in a wheelchair appeared. Ianto looked as he did now, old and frail as he slowly pushed himself along. Jack watched as Ianto began to change as he pushed himself along. Was this a dream? Or a hallucination? Jack wasn’t sure.
As he continued to watch he could see that Ianto was moving toward a bright light. And with each turn of the wheels, Ianto became a little younger looking. Soon Ianto was out of the wheelchair and was walking with his cane. A few moments later Ianto looked like he did when he was in his forties. And he was walking with ease. Ianto stopped and peered toward the light. Jack could see the silhouette of a man in the light. Ianto continued on and Jack was startled to realize that Ianto looked young again. Not quite as young as when Jack had first met him, but about the age he had been when Jack had taken over Torchwood London.
Jack wanted to open his eyes, to wipe away this illusion but he couldn’t. Ianto was approaching the light when the man in the shadows stepped out. It was Aaron. And he looked about the same age as Ianto. Aaron held out his arms and took Ianto into an embrace.
‘Oh no,’ Jack thought. ‘This isn’t real. I know that when you die there’s nothing out there.’
As if they had heard him, Ianto and Aaron turned and looked at him. Straight at him. Ianto raised one eyebrow and smiled. Aaron nodded to Jack and then they both turned and disappeared into the light.
Jack sat up and gasped as if he were recovering from one of his deaths. He hadn’t been dead had he? Jack felt confused and a bit frightened as he realized that he was still in bed with Ianto.
He felt Ianto’s neck for a pulse, and it was there…barely.
“I love you Ianto,” he whispered.
Jack almost jumped out of his skin when Ianto opened his eyes. He smiled at Jack and took a last gasping breath. “Love…you…Jack,” Ianto said as his eyes fell shut.
Jack felt for a pulse but Ianto was gone. He sat shaking on the bed still holding Ianto. He didn’t understand, but somehow Ianto had spoken, actually spoken for the first and the last time since Canary Wharf. And now he was gone. Jack continued to hold Ianto until he could feel his body start to cool.
Finally Jack got out of bed and kissed Ianto one last time. “I won’t ever forget you.” He took the stone ring from around Ianto’s neck and pushed in at two of the corners. The stone tilted up at one side and Jack retrieved a tiny data chip from under the stone. He deftly inserted the chip into a special compartment hidden on his wrist strap. He pushed the stone back into its setting and put the ring back around Ianto’s neck.
Jack would go on, he had no other choice. But now he had indestructible memories of Ianto’s smell and touch, his appearance, even his empathic ‘voice’ that would help him remember Ianto. ‘When I said I would always remember you, I meant it,’ he thought.
Jack smiled; Ianto was at peace, maybe young and healthy with Aaron, maybe not. Jack didn’t know if what he saw was real, a dream, his imagination or something else all together. The only thing he was certain of was that Ianto’s earthly Journey had ended.
********
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. Dr. Seuss
And smile because after the Epilogue I’ll be writing Schmoop Bingo stories. All will be Torchwood, and many will be from this same ‘verse.’ Look for the ij_verse tag.
Again, anyone out there who has never commented, don't be shy, I'm very interested in what everyone thought about the story.
Epilogue here: http://aviv-b.livejournal.com/58136.html
