A Torchwood Merry Christmas
Dec. 20th, 2011 09:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aviv_b_artworkAuthor: Aviv_b
Title: A Torchwood Merry Christmas
Words: 515
Rating: G/PG for a few bad word
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Tosh, Gwen, Owen, Rhys, P.C. Andy, Myfanwy
Disclaimer: Not mine; Aunty B's and RTD's
Summary: When Santa needs help, Torchwood is ready. Sort of. Christmas Crackfic. Work-safe graphics.
A/N: This is a very silly story, with even sillier art work (term used a bit loosely). I'm sure its been done before, but I didn't check because then I wouldn't have wanted to write it.
And since it's the first night of Chanukah (Hannukah if you prefer the Hallmark version), here's a link to a story I wrote a couple of years ago. 8 short chapters so you can spend all of Chanukah with team Torchwood. How Torchwood Saved Chanukah: http://aviv-b.livejournal.com/17398.html.
Much love and best wishes for a wonderful holiday season and a happy and healthy 2012.
Twas the night before Christmas, and Cardiff was quiet
No creatures were stirring, no weevils ran riot.
With aliens fed and Myfanwy set loose
Thoughts turned to dinner and fine Christmas goose.
To Gwen’s house they hurried for Rhys cooked a feast,
Sage stuffing and spuds and two puddings at least.
They arrived right on time for eggnog and prawns,
No notion surprises were sat on the lawn.
Outside of the flat there arose such a clatter,
The whole team ran out to see what’s the matter.
Down three flights of stairs they ran very fast,
Hoping monsters wouldn’t ruin their repast.
There stuck in the mud, his lips turning blue
Was a sight sure to make little children boo-hoo.
A large man in red, Santa Claus that was clear,
And there was his sleigh, but there were no reindeer.
‘What’s happened,’ they cried, as he stood with a frown
’Damn reindeer,’ he roared ‘they’ve all let me down.’
‘Dasher had cold feet and Dancer felt tired
Prancer was sleeping, bad Vixen got fired!’
‘Comet and Cupid ate too much and puked
Donner and Blitzen, they both caught the croup!
Elves brought me this far but quit in a huff
Said they were done pulling me and my stuff.’
‘So I turned to the people I knew who could help,
To Torchwood, in Cardiff filled with the lovely Welsh.’
‘You’re bonkers,’ cried Owen as he shook his head ‘no.’
‘If you think we’re pulling your sleigh through the snow.’
And then with a smile so serene and yet strange
Santa clapped his hands, into reindeer they changed.
Unfortunate timing had Andy appearing
‘What's all this,’ he said before he was reindeering.
‘Oi! Change us back,’ Rhys said ready to burst
‘Shit! I’m a moose,’ Owen snarled as he cursed.
Tosh was delighted with her new attire,
Ianto considered setting himself on fire.
Jack stood and chuckled while the others complained.
‘The Doctor sent you, I know his reindeer games.’
‘Yes,’ confessed Santa, embarrassed for once
‘I promised I’d have you back home before lunch.’
Gwen wasn’t happy and pawed at the ground.
Andy was frightened as he looked around.
‘We’ve got hoofs, we’ve got horns, it’s all such a bother
If I miss my dinner what will I tell Mother?’
‘Don’t worry’ said Jack still amused at the sight
‘We’ll help Santa out and be back before light.
After all we don’t want the kids disappointed
It’s not every day you get reindeer anointed.’
Santa hitched each of them up to the sled
They thought about flying, it filled them with dread.
He sprinkled them quickly with dust from his pocket.
They rose in the night and took off like a rocket.
‘We’re missing one reindeer, it’s just what I feared.’
Santa whistled once and Myfanwy appeared.
‘Squawk!’ (Look at me; I’m a good reindeer too!
I love Santy Claws letting me join the crew).
A few astute people looking up at the sky
Were really astonished when Santa flew by
One man summed it up as best as he could
‘Happy Christmas to all, even bloody Torchwood!’
Title: A Torchwood Merry Christmas
Words: 515
Rating: G/PG for a few bad word
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Tosh, Gwen, Owen, Rhys, P.C. Andy, Myfanwy
Disclaimer: Not mine; Aunty B's and RTD's
Summary: When Santa needs help, Torchwood is ready. Sort of. Christmas Crackfic. Work-safe graphics.
A/N: This is a very silly story, with even sillier art work (term used a bit loosely). I'm sure its been done before, but I didn't check because then I wouldn't have wanted to write it.
And since it's the first night of Chanukah (Hannukah if you prefer the Hallmark version), here's a link to a story I wrote a couple of years ago. 8 short chapters so you can spend all of Chanukah with team Torchwood. How Torchwood Saved Chanukah: http://aviv-b.livejournal.com/17398.html.
Much love and best wishes for a wonderful holiday season and a happy and healthy 2012.
Twas the night before Christmas, and Cardiff was quiet
No creatures were stirring, no weevils ran riot.
With aliens fed and Myfanwy set loose
Thoughts turned to dinner and fine Christmas goose.
To Gwen’s house they hurried for Rhys cooked a feast,
Sage stuffing and spuds and two puddings at least.
They arrived right on time for eggnog and prawns,
No notion surprises were sat on the lawn.
Outside of the flat there arose such a clatter,
The whole team ran out to see what’s the matter.
Down three flights of stairs they ran very fast,
Hoping monsters wouldn’t ruin their repast.
There stuck in the mud, his lips turning blue
Was a sight sure to make little children boo-hoo.
A large man in red, Santa Claus that was clear,
And there was his sleigh, but there were no reindeer.
‘What’s happened,’ they cried, as he stood with a frown
’Damn reindeer,’ he roared ‘they’ve all let me down.’
‘Dasher had cold feet and Dancer felt tired
Prancer was sleeping, bad Vixen got fired!’
‘Comet and Cupid ate too much and puked
Donner and Blitzen, they both caught the croup!
Elves brought me this far but quit in a huff
Said they were done pulling me and my stuff.’
‘So I turned to the people I knew who could help,
To Torchwood, in Cardiff filled with the lovely Welsh.’
‘You’re bonkers,’ cried Owen as he shook his head ‘no.’
‘If you think we’re pulling your sleigh through the snow.’
And then with a smile so serene and yet strange
Santa clapped his hands, into reindeer they changed.
Unfortunate timing had Andy appearing
‘What's all this,’ he said before he was reindeering.
‘Oi! Change us back,’ Rhys said ready to burst
‘Shit! I’m a moose,’ Owen snarled as he cursed.
Tosh was delighted with her new attire,
Ianto considered setting himself on fire.
Jack stood and chuckled while the others complained.
‘The Doctor sent you, I know his reindeer games.’
‘Yes,’ confessed Santa, embarrassed for once
‘I promised I’d have you back home before lunch.’
Gwen wasn’t happy and pawed at the ground.
Andy was frightened as he looked around.
‘We’ve got hoofs, we’ve got horns, it’s all such a bother
If I miss my dinner what will I tell Mother?’
‘Don’t worry’ said Jack still amused at the sight
‘We’ll help Santa out and be back before light.
After all we don’t want the kids disappointed
It’s not every day you get reindeer anointed.’
Santa hitched each of them up to the sled
They thought about flying, it filled them with dread.
He sprinkled them quickly with dust from his pocket.
They rose in the night and took off like a rocket.
‘We’re missing one reindeer, it’s just what I feared.’
Santa whistled once and Myfanwy appeared.
‘Squawk!’ (Look at me; I’m a good reindeer too!
I love Santy Claws letting me join the crew).
A few astute people looking up at the sky
Were really astonished when Santa flew by
One man summed it up as best as he could
‘Happy Christmas to all, even bloody Torchwood!’
