Reader's Choice - The Worst Christmas Ever

[aviv_b_artwork]

I'm working on an upcoming Chapter that covers Christmas at Rhiannon's as well as Christmas at Gwen & Rhys' house.

It's called A Tale of Two Christmases (pretty original, no?)

Ianto's Christmas will be the 'best of times' (and that's pretty much written), but Gwen's & Rhy's will unfortunately be the 'worst of times.'  If you've been following this story then you know that Gwen & Rhys are having Jack and Tosh over for Christmas Day.  And of course, they will joined by Rhys' ever so charming mother. 

In case you've forgotten (perish the thought) you can review last year's Christmas disaster at Gwen's & Rhys' here:
http://aviv-b.livejournal.com/7858.html

So what do you think should happen at their Christmas celebration this year?  Rhys dancing naked?  Jack hitting on Rhys' Mum? (I do draw the line at Jack/Mum sexy time - though other inapproiate behavior is always OK)  Dinner stolen by Weevils?

Let me know what you'd like to see, and I'll do my best to incorporate as many suggestions as I can.  I thought this chapter would be soo easy to write - but my brain just can't seem to think of anything really funny, horrific, or disgusting. 

And if you haven't voted on Ianto's voice - the link above will give you voice samples for you to choose from - the software Ianto chooses will be revealed shortly.

Thanks for reading!
 

Comments

Mind the eyes, Teaboy!

[teamrodent.livejournal.com]

Will Jack & Ianto also join in the bear naked boogy? Well, since we already have "too many guns" as Sarah Jane said, Why not Weevils take over the feast and the team has to find an alternative? ... Yeah, not original, but.... :/

Re: Mind the eyes, Teaboy!

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

Everyone naked! That could happen! Any idea why the weevils would choose their house?

And the pies.

[teamrodent.livejournal.com]

Because Weevils can smell disaster? I haven't an actual clue and I'm shamefully ripping off "Christmas Story". :/

Re: And the pies.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

Well, weevils will be a big part of the story, not eating pie, but something else very tasty.

The Christmas Story - one of my two favorite holiday movies (the other one being National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation). Rest assured, no one will shoot their eye out at Gwen's house.

[mjmcca.livejournal.com]

A mundane thing to happen at Christmas a short in the lights on the tree either causing a power failure or a fire. Gwen smartens up this time... instead of foul she gets a nice beef roast... Rhys' mom spends the whole time talking about Mad Cow disease.

If the tree goes on fire from the lights shorting someone gets an extinguisher and Rhys' mom is hit with a full blast of CO2 foam.

Weevils attack as she huffs out after the foam and they end up having to retcon her.

[mjmcca.livejournal.com]

Actually I would start it with His mom giving Rhys an over the top expensive gift and Gwen something you might give an acquaintance... that you don't like much....

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

Oh I love these ideas! Mad Cow disease! Gee I have a satire song about that (too bad LJ doesn't allow audio recordings, does it?).

And a fire! What's better than a nice toasty house burning fire on Christmas!

And a bad gift for Gwen. Yes!!

[mjmcca.livejournal.com]

Could have Brenda get drunk and throw herself at Gwen's handsome boss (that's if Jack is going to be there) could be part of the reason she gets dowsed with the fire extinguisher foam.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

Drunk Brenda - excellent!

[owensheart.livejournal.com]

What about Rhys's lovely mummy arriving early and catching Gwen and Rhys in a compromising possiton on the couch.

Then Jack and Tosh arrive with a sedated Wevil that they have just caught in the SUV, but while they are telling everyone a story about having to do something at work so they can take the Weevil to the Hub first and come back a bit later, the Weevil wakes up an escapes and somehow ends up in the flat an surprises Rhys's mum in the bathroom.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

Guess who's coming to dinner - Weevils! Yes!!

[owensheart.livejournal.com]

Cant wait to read it.

[caledonius72.livejournal.com]

Babies, she'll be going on about babies "How long have you been married for now?" "Well I was expecting my first, 9 months to the day after I got married"

Cheating at a long winded board game. It used to be traditional to play Monopoly, Cleudo or Trivial Pursuit. The drink would be flowing and someone would rob from the bank, or sneak a peak at the clue cards, or slip an un-won piece of pie in the wheel, and then it would all kick off.

Food-poisoning is a good one - dodgy prawn cocktails.

Arguments about whether or not to watch the Queen's speech. I bet Brenda is a stickler for that, and after all the Queen does pay Gwen's wages...

Bananaboat crashing the meal and being very inappropriate, and Brenda trying to make out he's Gwen's friend rather than Rhys'

Huffy because someone got a better cracker gift, or that the crackers are of inferior quality.

Snide comment that there are lots of pictures of Gwen's family but very few of Rhys'

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

OMG - How could I forget about the Queen's speech! And cheating at board games - perfect because as we know Jack cheats, he always cheats!

And personal questions about making babies - I like this!

The plot bunnies are starting to hop!!

[caledonius72.livejournal.com]

Jack also has a low boredom threshold, so a loooong bored (sic) game will just make him peevish and suggest things like naked!monopoly.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

Naked monopoly! Or perhaps strip monopoly! Excellent!

[caledonius72.livejournal.com]

LOL - Brenda somehow puzzled as to why she's in her tummy control girdle and long line bra and everyone esle is still mostly clothed.

[coffee-n-retcon.livejournal.com]

In Something Borrowed Jack mistook Brenda for a shape shifting alien... could happen more than once.

Brenda is convinced that Gwen is having an affair with Jack and keeps making snide and not-so-subtle innuendos.

Gwen and Rhys are having a fight and keep storming off to the bedroom to discuss/argue... leaving Jack and Tosh alone with Rhys' parents and nothing to talk about.

[fenlika.livejournal.com]

Gwen and Rhys are having a fight and keep storming off to the bedroom to discuss/argue... leaving Jack and Tosh alone with Rhys' parents and nothing to talk about.
This could be sooo funny (like one of these old movies with a dialogue, something like Spencer Tracy/Katharine Hepburn). I think, Ianto should get in there (in this scenes) somehow, because he has a really shitty sense of humour and could be great for some lines here.
I am really waiting patiently for your next chapter.

If you need more opinions for the voice-programs, I like the voice from #3. I don't know anything about the dialects, I am from germany, but I just like the voice (and I can understand it good...).
Thank you again for sharing your story, I am having soo much fun reading it!

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...don't think that Ianto will be there, but he could call Jack and be snarky!

Jack having nothing to talk about - uh no, but how about Jack telling Brenda about some his sexcapades..oh yeah!

Another vote for Voce #3! You are all too smart for me!

[mjmcca.livejournal.com]

Been thinking on this... what about some of those Robotic Santas show up like from the Doctor Who eps The Christmas Invasion and Runaway Bride... The Runaway Bride Ep is the christmas ep for Doctor Who after Torchwood falls... or could have an alarm ring through to Jack's Vortex Manipulator about the invasion. Jack, Gwen, and Tosh rush to work intending to go to London... the Doctor takes care of it while they are enroute ... by the time Gwen gets back Brenda is gone (score!)...

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

That's a great idea! Maybe too complicated for the 1/2 chapter - but don't despair I'm stealing some of your other ones for sure. I'm going to start a draft later today (drunk Brenda, here we come).

[mjmcca.livejournal.com]

Take them with my blessing.... one of my fav things about Fan fic is brainstorming and bouncing ideas around.