Discovery: Chapter 31 - Teasing

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RATING:  Chapter 31 - PG  for language
CHARACTERS: Ianto, Jack, Owen, Tosh, Gwen, Rhys
WORDS: ~ 2850
SUMMARY:   Tosh is visited by the rest of the TW team as she recovers from her enounter with a weevil. So what's with all the teasing of Ianto and Tosh by Owen?

You know how easily and suddenly these things happen, beginning in playful teasing and ending in something a little warmer than friendship.  Sir Arther Conan Doyle

A little before 5 PM Jack went down from the conference room to check on Ianto. He was sleeping so soundly that Jack hated to disturb him. But they were leaving for Tosh’s in a few minutes and he wanted Ianto to at least have time to wake up a bit. 

 

“Come on, wake up, Tosh is waiting for us. You want to be fully aware when she trounces you at chess.”

 

Ianto sighed and opened his eyes. “Sorry Ianto, I didn’t realize how easily you tired.”

 

Ianto grinned mischievously. ‘Well, I think I’ve had more physical activity in the last twenty-four hours than I’ve had in the prior six months.’

 

Jack chuckled, “Between fending off weevils and Captain Jack, it’s been very tiring, hasn’t it?” Ianto nodded. “Poor baby. I’ll have to make that up to you.”

 

‘It’s your ‘making-up’ that’s exhausting me,’ Ianto retorted, not looking upset at all.

 

“Oi, you guys almost ready?” Rhys shouted down from the upper level of the Hub. 

 

“Yeah just give Ianto a minute to powder his nose.”

 

Ianto rolled his eyes as he headed off to the shower change area. 

 

A few minutes later they piled into the SUV and headed off to dinner with Tosh.

 

* *

 

Both Tosh and Owen looked relieved when they all arrived at her flat. “He’s making me crazy,” she whispered to her guests.

 

“I heard that, and for the record I’m just being a good medic, that’s all.”

 

“Well, I didn’t mind you asking me to count backwards from one hundred by subtracting sevens, but I draw the line at the pat my head, rub my tummy, and hop on one foot at the same time request.”

 

“Hey, it’s good for checking out coordination of different parts of the brain.”

 

“Owen do you have an orthopedist you’re trying to give some business to, because I couldn’t do that if I wasn’t concussed.  Not without breaking my hip or something.”

 

Tosh and Owen stopped bickering long enough to realize that the others were still standing in the doorway.

 

Gwen laughed, “The way you two go on, you sound like an old married couple. Maybe you should think about that.” Both Tosh and Owen turned bright red.

 

Ianto made eye contact with Owen and gave him a small smile as he raised one eyebrow. Owen winked back.

 

“Where are my manners,” Tosh mused. “Come in everyone.”

 

Jack gave Tosh a hug. She was wearing a pair of track pants and a sweatshirt and had pinned her hair up away from her face. “For a woman with scrambled brains, you look gorgeous to me.”

 

Tosh rolled her eyes. She hugged Rhys and Gwen and then turned to Ianto.

 

“Come here, my brave hero.” Ianto walked over and put his arms around her. “I hear you saved my life…so I promise not to beat you at chess in less than ten moves.” Tosh giggled as she slipped out of Ianto’s grip. “Seriously, Ianto, how are you feeling?”

 

Ianto smiled. “OK” he signaled with his fingers. He took out his phone and mimed that they should get their phones out as well. They quickly set up an IM session.

 

Ianto: I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know that if Tosh is up to it, I’ll have her download the voice software after dinner. 

 

“Which one did you decide on,” she asked. For reasons he couldn’t even explain, Ianto felt shy about telling everyone. “Oh come on Ianto, I can’t download it if I don’t know which one you want.” Ianto held up three fingers.

 

“Number Three.*  Oi, I knew it,” Owen laughed. “He picked the posh almost British one.”

 

“I’m not surprised he picked that one,” Gwen quipped. “It’s got some very sexy undertones to it.”

 

Tosh shrugged, “Ok, I admit, I liked the first one best. Nice and soft, with a little lilt. I know it’s a more Northern accent, but it sounded dreamy to me.”

 

Rhys didn’t want to be left out. “Personally, I was hoping for Splott! Thought it would be hilarious.” 

 

Everyone looked at Jack. “As you recall, I was making an appointment for Ianto’s suits while the software testing was going on.  All I can say is that it’s going to be a little strange hearing the voice when I already have my own imaginings of what Ianto sounds like.”

 

“Well, remember there isn’t any intonation to the software voice, so when he keys in “Oh, Jack, oh Jack, YES! It’s going to sound a lot less interesting.” Owen almost couldn’t believe he said that…almost.

 

Ianto blushed. He was getting a little sick of Owen’s constant teasing about him and Jack. Jack picked up on Ianto’s distress. “Owen, since I’m a little empathic myself Ianto can push his thoughts to me – and trust me, I hear every sigh and moan and cry he makes.”

 

“All right that’s enough,” Rhys interrupted, “the foods getting cold.”

 

“And the room’s getting a little too warm,” Gwen snarked.

 

Tosh had them sit down at her dining room table and she motioned to Ianto for his phone. “It takes a little while for the software to load, so let me get this started and it will be done by the time we finish eating.”

 

Ianto looked a little confused. Gwen quickly handed him her phone. “Here, Rhys and I can share and we don’t want you to get left out of the conversation.” He smiled at Gwen.

 

Ianto was surprised that he was hungrier than he thought. He had been concerned that Indian might be too spicy after having been sick the night before, but Gwen had ordered him a very mild curry, more sweet that hot. Tosh’s curry, on the other hand was nuclear. Owen tried a bit and almost choked. “Tosh, are ya trying to kill me; how can you eat that?”

 

Tosh shrugged. “I think it’s what you’re used to. My mom used lots of peppers and spices in her cooking when I was growing up, so this tastes normal to me.” 

 

Ianto: Are you going to get to see your Mom for Christmas?

 

Tosh dropped her fork. It suddenly got very quiet around the table. Ianto sensed that he had said something terribly wrong, but didn’t know what it was.

 

Tosh looked across the table at Ianto who could see tears in her eyes. “Ianto, I can’t see my mother for another two years.”

 

Ianto didn’t understand but kept quiet. “It’s OK, Ianto, you couldn’t know…part of the condition for my transfer from UNIT to Torchwood Three was that I couldn’t have contact with my family for five years.”

 

Ianto really didn’t understand what was going on. He was going to ask when he sensed Jack pushing out “Don’t.” He nodded subtly. 

 

Ianto: I’m sorry. Good thing then that you’ll be with Gwen and Rhys. 

 

Jack immediately jumped into the conversation. “I meant to ask you Tosh, do you want me to pick you up on the way to their house for Christmas dinner?”

 

“That’d be great Jack.”

 

Rhys slapped his head. “Don’t let me forget, we’ve got the presents for Ianto’s family in the boot of my car. Let’s make sure that Ianto gets them tonight so he has them for Christmas Eve.

 

They sat around the table and chatted a while until Jack stood up. “Well, if everyone’s finished, I’d like to let you know that I have a wonderful video for everyone to see. Just in time for Christmas its ‘Ianto versus the Weevil.’ Yes a heartwarming story of a boy, his friend Tosh and their pet Weevil. 

 

Owen snorted. “I understand there’s a car wreck scene in it as well.”

 

“Oh yeah, Owen, I have a friend who owes me a favor. He’ll be coming by the Hub tomorrow morning to get your car. If everything goes well, you’ll have it back on Wednesday.”

 

“Thanks Jack, though I think Ianto ought to pay for the damage.”

 

Ianto frowned, mostly in play, but he did feel just a tiny bit put out.

 

Tosh slapped Owen playfully. “Don’t you say anything mean about my knight in shining armor. If it weren’t for Ianto, I might not be here. Let’s go watch the video.”

 

Tosh had an impressive home theater system; like most people with a technology background she always had to have the latest gadget, be that a TV, stereo, iphone, whatever. She downloaded the video file onto her computer and then streamed the image to a large flat screen that hung on the wall. They sat down on soft white leather sofas placed for optimal viewing.

 

“Jack you can still use the computer controls if you want to zoom in on anything.”

 

Jack started playing the CCTV feed. It was a little grainy and wasn’t directly focused on the area where the Tosh, Ianto and the weevils had been. Jack zoomed in on the right hand section, and the images enlarged and then came into focus. The angle was still from the side, but they could clearly see the park and the street nearby.

 

The video started just before Ianto got out of the car. When Ianto got out to look in the boot, Owen interrupted. “I thought I told you NOT to get out of the car Ianto, what the hell were you thinking?” Jack paused the image.

 

Ianto looked abashed. He held up Gwen’s phone and looked at Tosh.

 

“Right,” she said, “Ianto’s phone should be ready, so as long as we’ve paused the download, give us a few minutes to see if the voice software is working.”

 

She finished configuring the software on the phone and handed it to Ianto. “I’m not sure if you’ll want to type a whole sentence or thought before you play it or if you want to have to translate word by word. Guess that would depend on how fast and accurately you can type. Yeah, just hit the key there and you’re ready to go.”

 

Ianto looked at everyone and smiled. He typed something and hit the key. “Name’s  Bond, Ianto Bond” his phone announced.” 

 

Gwen squeaked. “Oh my goodness Ianto, that sounds a little like Roger Moore!” Your niece and nephew are going to go crazy!”

 

Ianto tried the word by word translation. “Good thing… that..James..Bond has…such a dead…pan…voice.”  Ianto shook his head in annoyance and typed some more. “I think its got to be sentence by sentence at the least, otherwise it sounds very…stra..nge.“

 

Everyone agreed that it sounded much better when it translated full sentences at a time.

 

“Ok, Ianto, now do you want to explain why you were out of the car,” Owen asked again.

 

“Well, I didn’t know if a weevil could get into the car and I didn’t have anything to protect myself with.”

 

Owen sighed and shook his head.

 

“Actually,” Jack interjected while giving Owen a little bit of a sharp look, “he’s got a point. Those creatures are strong enough to break a window and pull a person right out of a car. Let’s get back to the tape shall we?”

 

They watched as Jack zoomed in on Tosh as she came on screen and stunned the first weevil. Jack switched the view over to Ianto and saw him smash the side mirror. Owen winced. Jack stopped the feed. “I’m going to back this up and zoom in on Tosh so you can see why Ianto did that.”

 

He backed up the download and refocused on Tosh. Everyone could see the second weevil coming up behind her, could hear Ianto smashing the mirror and see how it had distracted the weevil.  “Ianto, that was so brave,” Gwen gushed. 

 

The feed continued with the weevil looking between Tosh and Ianto and Ianto then smashing out the passenger window. Owen groaned as he watched that scene. They continued to watch as the weevil approached Ianto, the wheel brace hitting the weevil and Ianto being thrown against the car. They could see Ianto sitting on the ground and then leaning over…Jack stopped the download. “I think we can skip that part,” Jack snarked.

 

Owen was in awe. “Did you actually snarl at that weevil, Ianto?” Ianto nodded ‘yes.’

“That’s incredible. Also incredibly stupid, but incredible nonetheless.”

 

Tosh came over to Ianto sat down next to him and put her arms around him.   “Oh my god Ianto, I would be dead if it weren’t for you.” Tosh began to cry. Ianto put his arms around Tosh and held her tightly. Owen felt a little miffed. Shouldn’t he be the one comforting Tosh, after all he was her…uh good friend.

 

Eventually, Tosh stopped crying and Ianto loosened his grip. She wiped her face and smiled a little sheepishly. “Sorry, not sure where that came from; I guess watching yourself almost become weevil chow is a little disconcerting.”

 

An awkward silence followed until Rhys chimed in with “Oi, we didn’t tell you about Ianto and Myfanwy did we? You should have seen it, it was brilliant. He was communicating with her. She came right up to him and was grooming him.”

 

Owen laughed, “Let’s see he almost gets to be weevil lunch, gets to flirt with a pterodactyl, could it get any better - hey, did you meet Janet?”

 

Ianto stared at Owen. “Sorry, sorry, didn’t think.”

 

“I feel so much better,” Gwen snorted, “I asked him the same thing.”

 

‘And I’ll give him the same answer…meeting her boyfriend in the park last night was enough weevil interaction for me!’  As he pressed the send key, Ianto couldn’t stifle a yawn.

 

Owen knew that Ianto was probably exhausted from everything that had happened in the last two days. And he still had Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to get through with his family. “You know, I hate to be breaking up the party, but I think someone needs to get some sleep. If you think you are tired now, wait till those two kids get done playing with Uncle Ianto.”

 

Ianto nodded. Owen had a point. He realized that he had been having such a nice time that he really hadn’t had the opportunity to get himself all worked up about seeing his family.  ‘Still got half of tomorrow for that.’

 

Everyone started to get up to leave. “Listen, I need to stay over to keep an eye on Tosh. So Jack can you drop Ianto back at my place?” He saw that Ianto was doing his best to hide his disappointment.

 

“Oi, who am I kidding. Jack, you go stay with Ianto at my place, but seriously, let him get a little sleep, will ya. Why don’t we meet for brunch around 10? I know you aren’t doing anything tomorrow, but we’ve got to be at his sister’s by 2 PM.”

 

“Were going to have to skip brunch, we have to get our place cleaned up before Mother arrives tomorrow night.”

 

“Yes, what Rhys means is that I have to get the place cleaned up. We decided to swap chores this year. I’m cleaning the house and Rhys is cooking the roast beef. We’ll see what his mother makes of that one.”

 

Rhys looked at Tosh and Jack. “We’ll see you at our house at two in the afternoon on Christmas Day, OK? And don’t forget when we get back to the Hub, we need to transfer the presents from our boot to the SUV.” 

 

Everyone said their goodbyes and Jack, Gwen, Rhys and Ianto drove back to the Hub.

 

Tosh looked at Owen. “That was really nice of you, letting Jack stay over with Ianto.”

 

Owen laughed. “Oh, I’m pretty sure that he would have stayed over whether I said it was OK or not. So why be a scrooge about it?”

 

Tosh bit her lip. “Owen, if I tell you something about Ianto will you promise just to listen and think about what I have to say?”

 

Owen felt a little dread. What now? Was something wrong with Ianto?

 

“I think you and Ianto have a sweet relationship, like brothers almost. But maybe you should lay off on the teasing him about Jack.” Owen looked puzzled.

 

“You’re probably a little uncomfortable about them being together. That’s certainly understandable. But I have a feeling that this is his first serious relationship with a man and he’s also a bit unsure about it as well. You wouldn’t notice, but he looks embarrassed and a little lost when you tease him. He wants to please you, and he wants to please Jack and he doesn’t know what to do.”

 

Owen sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m teasing him cause I don’t want to take the relationship seriously, but Ianto certainly does. And it’s easy to forget how young he is, and how much he’s been through. I’ll have to watch that. Hell, I’m an idiot.”

 

Tosh smiled and kissed Owen on the cheek. “No you’re not; you human. Just like everyone else.” She turned to start cleaning up, when it hit her.

 

“Shit! Shit, shit, shit!”

 

“What is it?”

 

“I never got to play my chess game with Ianto!”

 

“Hey, I’ll play you again, and if I can hold out for 15 moves you owe me dinner at that new posh steak house.”

 

“You’re on.”

 _______
* Voice # 3 was the winning entry and is, of course, Gareth David-Lloyd  (reading M. R. James' Tales of the Supernatural, Volume 2, A View from the Hill).  You are all too smart for me. 

The other voices are from the BBC,UK audio archives.

Chapter 32 is here:  http://aviv-b.livejournal.com/10970.html